I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
