Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
