I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
