no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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