I just saw a hot homeless man
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
