I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
