Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
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Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
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i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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