I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Randomize
