I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
