A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
no, he came in my armpit
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
