some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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