Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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