I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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