So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
