sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
