i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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