I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
