I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
