I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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