I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
