shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
