How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
