I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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