Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize