just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
