Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
