He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
