is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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