did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
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Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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