He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
