You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
