Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The air was thick with penises
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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