I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
