I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
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I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
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Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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