At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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