Nicole vs. Life
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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