his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
