I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
