I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm passing your future prison.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
