My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize