i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
you never un-have a 4some
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize