How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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