i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
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My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
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I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize