would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
