Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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