No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
