I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
