Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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