I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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