I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
