ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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