He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize