I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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