is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize