but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
