Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression. http://tfl.nu/b05v
  Replies (20) Good night (742) Bad night (2628)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer http://tfl.nu/68pg
  Replies (39) Good night (2929) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan. http://tfl.nu/4ryj
  Replies (14) Good night (897) Bad night (2847)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you" http://tfl.nu/hln2
  Replies (19) Good night (7174) Bad night (2214)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it http://tfl.nu/dcde
  Replies (5) Good night (3022) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY http://tfl.nu/b20j
  Replies (14) Good night (6952) Bad night (1387)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant. http://tfl.nu/uvpb
  Replies (13) Good night (3271) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy http://tfl.nu/fre1
  Replies (7) Good night (2698) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied. http://tfl.nu/2f2b
  Replies (12) Good night (2731) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now http://tfl.nu/n0um
  Replies (7) Good night (2687) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.

  (214): View more from Texas

  I still make more money.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions. (214): I still make more money. http://tfl.nu/pibf
  Replies (6) Good night (2616) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning. http://tfl.nu/j239
  Replies (0) Good night (708) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die. http://tfl.nu/b33e
  Replies (3) Good night (913) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom http://tfl.nu/65ja
  Replies (7) Good night (948) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now (503): Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea http://tfl.nu/ll9z
  Replies (5) Good night (500) Bad night (610)

Randomize