Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".

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  (402): I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis". http://tfl.nu/dn08
  Replies (17) Good night (779) Bad night (6580)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.    

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  (510): Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.     http://tfl.nu/ot3m
  Replies (7) Good night (3812) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.

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  (562): I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex. http://tfl.nu/ik0l
  Replies (15) Good night (5726) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.

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  (937): I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens. http://tfl.nu/zmnj
  Replies (18) Good night (6774) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve

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  (313): tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve http://tfl.nu/02r5
  Replies (12) Good night (3831) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.

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  (270): It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj. http://tfl.nu/3mtz
  Replies (13) Good night (4947) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.

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  (704): Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch. http://tfl.nu/j8q7
  Replies (13) Good night (1511) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt

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  (828): You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt http://tfl.nu/0h7j
  Replies (8) Good night (1097) Bad night (2868)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck

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  (773): They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck http://tfl.nu/dsuf
  Replies (8) Good night (2101) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"

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  (252): she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN" http://tfl.nu/vt0o
  Replies (7) Good night (1216) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before

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  (615): I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before http://tfl.nu/iyr5
  Replies (0) Good night (609) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (747): View more from California

  That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!

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  (747): That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away! http://tfl.nu/9pk5
  Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  You're a waste of cheezeits

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  (903): You're a waste of cheezeits http://tfl.nu/fc08
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.

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  (714): I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks. http://tfl.nu/v5vh
  Replies (4) Good night (467) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas

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  (604): he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas http://tfl.nu/s6lv
  Replies (0) Good night (332) Bad night (418)

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