haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms