you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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