so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
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my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?