Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?

(310): View more from California

You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?

(323): View more from California

So...no?`

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(323): Would you feel weird if I asked out ___? (310): You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend? (323): So...no?` http://tfl.nu/oqmx

Replies (16) Good night (489) Bad night (1928)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?

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(440): Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me? http://tfl.nu/fofz

Replies (7) Good night (653) Bad night (4147) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.

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(+44): Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman. http://tfl.nu/smcd

Replies (2) Good night (2876) Bad night (660)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.

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(402): Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god. http://tfl.nu/igq7

Replies (12) Good night (3083) Bad night (827)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs

(609): View more from New Jersey

hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks

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(609): all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs (609): hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks http://tfl.nu/8a0z

Replies (3) Good night (1949) Bad night (463)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.

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(414): Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things. http://tfl.nu/uvud

Replies (4) Good night (3071) Bad night (1211) Order T-Shirt
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(813): View more from Florida

I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.

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(813): I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said. http://tfl.nu/j7o9

Replies (7) Good night (664) Bad night (1834) Order T-Shirt
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.

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(651): I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober. http://tfl.nu/gztw

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(573): View more from Missouri

Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.

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(573): Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home. http://tfl.nu/anic

Replies (7) Good night (443) Bad night (1457) Order T-Shirt
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(727): View more from Florida

Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea

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(727): Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea http://tfl.nu/mom5

Replies (2) Good night (983) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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(613): View more from Ontario

I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.

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(613): I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone. http://tfl.nu/7z2d

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(510): View more from California

Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?

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(510): Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye? http://tfl.nu/6n0k

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(443): View more from Maryland

I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy

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(443): I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy http://tfl.nu/5ksv

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(954): View more from Florida

Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?

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(954): Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over? http://tfl.nu/e816

Replies (12) Good night (631) Bad night (1102)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them

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(651): It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them http://tfl.nu/2gqy

Replies (2) Good night (389) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt

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