Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request

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  (908): no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request http://tfl.nu/jdk4
  Replies (18) Good night (3913) Bad night (905)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"

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  (410): my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts" http://tfl.nu/2c0p
  Replies (14) Good night (3762) Bad night (697)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do

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  (920): Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do http://tfl.nu/w5tc
  Replies (12) Good night (567) Bad night (5842)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?

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  (443): hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"? http://tfl.nu/cmo1
  Replies (23) Good night (1307) Bad night (5481)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.

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  (701): She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex. http://tfl.nu/crgk
  Replies (63) Good night (21791) Bad night (1286)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.

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  (352): we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark. http://tfl.nu/009s
  Replies (44) Good night (7588) Bad night (2114)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days

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  (260): Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days http://tfl.nu/vj5z
  Replies (2) Good night (1831) Bad night (874)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.

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  (508): I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine. http://tfl.nu/hmlf
  Replies (5) Good night (1366) Bad night (808)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.

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  (914): I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me. http://tfl.nu/p01s
  Replies (1) Good night (1679) Bad night (502)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.

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  (303): It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/jl72
  Replies (6) Good night (398) Bad night (1004)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...

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  (269): Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still... http://tfl.nu/u0uu
  Replies (5) Good night (1306) Bad night (521)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sex is always the answer.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?

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  (630): Sex is always the answer. (630): Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year? http://tfl.nu/kqhl
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (324)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle

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  (203): Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle http://tfl.nu/2uwk
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (257)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.

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  (303): I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety. http://tfl.nu/yo47
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (250)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink

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  (817): If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink http://tfl.nu/nuwv
  Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (224)

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