so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
