love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
