I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
