He passed out mid-signature
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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