Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Everything about him screamed your future.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
