Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
