I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
that's an acceptable place to lick
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How does one acquire holy water?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
