Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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